


Sacrifice

by Silver_Snow_77



Series: Lavilena week 2015 [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M, Innocence Evolution, Lavi is slowly cracking under pressure, Lenalee is worried, introspective short, set after the move to the New HQ, something of a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5199635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Snow_77/pseuds/Silver_Snow_77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Lavilena Week 2k15 Day Three: Sacrifice. Crystal-type evolution requires a sacrifice of blood, body, and faith. Lenalee knowingly gave up any chance at leaving behind the Order until she dies or the war ends, but if Lavi dares to contemplate the consequences of taking that path he faces the choice to sacrifice his purpose or his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> This is, again, another one for Lavilena week, and it was actually Wednesday's but I was busy Wednesday and I posted it on ff.net and timber yesterday instead.
> 
> This is another short one and it's on the darker side. This is in Lenalee's POV, I wrote it in a rush yesterday and only had time for minor edits so I just hope it's understandable and that something of it is enjoyable to read.

Lenalee walks down the hall towards the library with quiet, measured steps, lost in thought as she makes her way onwards. Upon reaching her destination she notes that the library is deserted, which is not a good thing when that means that the person she is seeking out is not present. If her objective was not present in any of his usual haunts, then how is she supposed to find him?

Lavi worries her. After the incident with Suman things changed between them, and the number of other events that had occurred in such short session afterwards—Allen's near death in China, Lavi's angry outburst on the boat, her own battle with Eishi, the oddities with her Innocence that resulted after she forced her synchronization too far and nearly died, the death of Anita and the ship's crew, the battles in Edo, the fights in the Ark, and then the invasion of Headquarters had all happened in the span of a few weeks. Not once since they left China has she gotten the chance to have a serious talk about the problems they have been having with each other without being interrupted or overheard. How can they hope to resolve the issue if they never get the chance to talk alone?

The biggest impetus behind her desire to seek him out only just presented itself the other day, but it chills her when she considers how it fits in with other things she noticed ever since Lavi and Bookman arrived, especially after Lavi was controlled by Rhode in the Ark. The matter of Lenalee regaining her newly evolved innocence has attracted much attention from various members of the Order, but she has noticed that the Bookman, who is normally inscrutable and poised in all matters not pertaining to Lavi slacking off on his apprentice duties, seems leery of the idea of crystallization. After the meeting Komui organized with the exorcists to inform them of the details of crystallization and of the upcoming move to the new Headquarters, Bookman gave her a long, measuring stare and pulled Lavi aside.

Lenalee knows that the Bookman and Lavi are meant to be recording history of the Holy War, that their duty is to observe first and foremost. After the Ark her eyes are opened to the idea that Lavi is not meant to actually be so close to her and to the others here, and to her eyes it is now obvious that he is conflicted and does feel something for them, something that he is actively forbidden to feel. Even more, she is getting the sense that Lavi is more connected to his innocence than he lets on and purposely does not go further unless necessary, and if she is right this means his synch rate is nearing high enough that he could potentially either crystallize or become a Critical point breaker if given incentive.

Lenalee is nothing if not perceptive, and she knows the price she paid in crystallization means that she cannot leave the war behind no matter what happens to her unless she should die or have her innocence destroyed. The latter would likely lead to the former in immediate succession, because her innocence would repair itself from her blood as long as it could if it were damaged, and a Noah would not simply allow her to walk away after destroying her weapon.

Her feet feel lighter than they have in years, finally she is free to go barefoot or wear whatever shoes she wishes, but the freedom from those heavy, deadly slippers came at a heartbreaking price. In exchange for finally achieving a long cherished dream of shoes that were not deadly weapons, her innocence can now never be taken off while she still lived, taking the form of rings harder than iron that rest at the juncture of her ankles and feet. The scarlet anklets are shackles of inescapable duty formed of the Innocence she hates and the blood she shed in payment.

There was no way to go back from her choice, but to regret it would be to disregard the sacrifices made, to forget her devotion to her brother and friends and cheapen the lives lost that day when the Noah led the akuma and skulls into the heart of the Order and slaughtered the trapped scientists. She has accepted the idea that she is prepared to give her blood and even her very soul if it means she can do something to protect her precious people and end this cursed and Unholy War. But could Lavi bear that burden if he was to be faced with that choice?

It is a curious thing, crystallization. So far she is the only exorcist known to have undergone this evolution of power and relation to Innocence, with the closest parallels being the rare Parasitic types such as Allen and Krowley. It is a disturbingly intimate process, to feel the rush of power racing through flesh, blood, and bone, rather like having electricity burn through from head to toe before focusing in one place and bursting from beneath skin in a climactic instant of pain beyond comprehension. The results were easily identifiable: a weapon that can repair itself from her blood in time of need, that responds faster and stronger than ever before and allowed her to taste a momentary glimpse of hope for an end.

With the way that things have changed in terms of happenings in the course of the war this past year, it has been theorized that more of the equipment types with high synchronization rates may undergo the process. Perhaps this fact is true, but Lenalee simultaneous hopes that it will never come to pass and acknowledges the potential benefits with a heavy heart and logical mind. They would be bound as she was without any hope but the embrace of death to free them from the war, but in exchange their power and control of their weapons would become near absolute and seamless in execution. Would it be worth the price paid if it meant the difference between having enough power to fight and having enough power to win?

In the eyes of most of the Order, the more Exorcists the better, especially if they are strong. Crystallization does not require breaking the critical point but allows for an immense power boost, which would be very advantageous. But...Bookman would not and will not do s o if Lenalee knows anything about him, and having to choose between obeying Bookman and staying with the Order until the end of the War just might break something inside if the choice is forced on Lavi, and if he went through with either path he would give a great sacrifice of himself regardless.

Lenalee stops and sighs as she gazes out a window. Perhaps she is overthinking it and Lavi is not likely to become a crystal type. Even so, she still worries, and she is beginning to feel as if he is deliberately avoiding her with how little she has seen him outside of group gatherings. She will keep trying to reach him, but she will not try to force his hand, because whatever he chooses to sacrifice in the end, it is ultimately his choice and his choice alone to commit to following a path.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it for this one. Short, and I'm kind of 'meh' about it, but it's done. Hopefully it wasn't too terrible and OOC...


End file.
